Have you ever gone from one extreme emotion to another in a split second? It happened to me today, I was preparing things for my day and as if something awful just happened my husband just told me his plans to take his own life…. TODAY.
I felt the adrenaline rush through my body as I desperately tried to find the words to help him, and not hinder the situation.
It’s happened before. I’m scared it’ll happen again. I’m scared one day I won’t be there…..
.
I don’t have to say the word,
You’ll get it soon enough.
Represented with a semi colon,
“Your life means more to us”.
.
It’s a word that haunts my deepest soul,
Yet, so far, I’ve conquered those fears,
You want to take your last breath now,
I can’t lose another one I hold dear.
.
A failure I call it. On my part… Yes.
Guilt from before still smothers my being
And now I’m given you, that I need to save,
How long do I fight for your living.
.
I know what goes on.
How it takes all your mind.
I know how it stabs you
Right from behind
So trust me, my love.
And I’ll do my very best.
Without being selfish,
It’s just not your time yet.
.
I know it’s not your time.
I hear you asking for help too,
And every single day from now,
I stay right next to you.
.
So, that word I didn’t need to say,
I let it escape from inside my heart.
I can’t save everybody, I know.
But right here’s a good place to start.
.
16/12/2020
Fromtheheart