This is a big topic and I’ll tell you now I won’t be able to cover every aspect of acceptance within this blog entry. I will, however, explain what it means to me, and more importantly the fact that if it means something different to you that’s ok. We are all human but we do not all think the same, act the same, deal with illnesses or excitement the same. Our individuality is what makes us so amazing. To accept others no matter what makes them individual is something we all need to do more of and all need to work on.
Being accepted by loved ones is something we all strive for. Whether it’s right or wrong to want this, it does make us feel part of the family or friend group in question. When we don’t feel accepted, the feelings we can get can be overwhelming, because to not feel accepted means there is a part of you that people cannot get on board with. This throws up all manner of emotions, should you try and change it to please them? Should you pretend that part of you doesn’t exist when you’re with that person or group of people? Or should you stand proud of who you are and how far you’ve come and ask that if people can’t accept you then they are not welcome in your life?
In this poem today (at the bottom of this blog) I’ve written about acceptance, but this isn’t about my skin colour, my sexuality or even my ideas, this is about me accepting part of me.
One part I’ve never wanted to accept is the fact I have both physical and mental health conditions. This poem is specifically about the physical ones though. It’s about how I’ve never wanted to accept it. People around me have accepted it and those that have stayed around me are caring and kind and want to help when I’m struggling. But, when you won’t accept the condition yourself it makes accepting help for this condition even harder. It makes it impossible to move and grow, and it can lead to you pushing away friends and family because of it.
I’ve struggled for years with this, and I don’t think acceptance is any closer. I don’t want to be unwell, I want to be fit and healthy and be able to complete the same tasks as other people that I see. I have standards in my head that I don’t match up to. My mind still tells me I can do these things but when I try I can’t do them anymore. It’s a battle I’m used to, but it’s not an easy one.
I hope this poem helps anyone in the same position as me, or anyone who has a family member or friend like me, I hope this will help you to understand them more.
Acceptance is something I don’t want to have,
It’s a feeling I don’t want to own.
Acceptance to me means I’m defeated
And my mind will stay stuck at home.
I’d stop looking for ways to help myself.
Defeated- I’d feel like, I’d lost.
The battle for you, may just be beginning
But acceptance comes at a cost.
It’s allowing yourself to be vulnerable,
To accept that, this is now your normality,
But acceptance to me, is much more than that.
It’s giving up the chance to change reality.
Of course, I know that, I have no cure,
I’m aware, that this illness is there,
But acceptance to me, means I’m losing,
And accepting whatever they declare.
I’ve been fighting this battle, most of my life,
Been in denial, for as long as I’ve known,
Because acceptance to me, means I give up,
So denial means, I carry the fight alone.
And, you know, I’m ok with that.
Each of us, has different ways to live,
So acceptance to you, may mean the opposite,
And that’s ok too, it’s your life to live.
So, to all of you, carrying a condition,
Or an illness, that restricts your lives,
Be you, be individual, be honest with yourself,
Be hopeful and always reach for the skies.
One day there may be a cure,
One day there may be more hope.
But, until that day comes around,
Keep searching for new ways to cope.
8th January 2021